These commitment ceremonies are not marriages but rather recognitions and blessings of the relationships, said Lowell Grisham, St. Paul¹s rector, or senior pastor. Same-sex marriage is prohibited by a state constitutional amendment approved by voters in November 2004.

The amendment defines marriage in Arkansas as a union between a man and a woman. The amendment was seen as a way to add extra protection against gay marriage; the state already had a statute prohibiting same-sex unions.

The debate over gay marriage ceremonies, gay clergy members and even gay church members isn't restricted to the Episcopal Church. The Presbyterian Church USA and the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, also mainline Protestant denomi- nations, have been grappling with the issue for years.

The Episcopal Church USA's House of Bishops in March issued a moratorium on such rites until its general convention in June 2006 in Columbus, Ohio. St. Paul's congregation will honor the moratorium, Grisham said. During the summer convention, the House of Bishops could vote to lift the moratorium or keep it in place.

The moratorium clarifies that the Episcopal Church USA "has not authorized any such liturgies, nor has General Convention requested the development of such rites."

The Rev. Jan Nunley, deputy director of the office of communication at the denomination¹s national headquarters in New York, said that decisions about pastoral rites, including blessing ceremonies, fall under the jurisdiction of local bishops.

This means that even if the moratorium is lifted, it is still not a church-sanctioned rite and some congregations might choose to not perform the ceremonies. "Some diocesan bishops hold that proper pastoral care for lesbians and gays in their diocese includes such blessings and others do not, although all of them agreed to the moratorium," she said. "Ultimately that decision is up to the diocesan bishop."

Arkansas' 13,000 Episcopalians will have the green light if the moratorium is lifted. The Right Rev. Larry Maze, bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Arkansas, said he would support the rite of blessing at St. Paul's if the moratorium is lifted. He said he has also been in favor of the discussion process used at St. Paul's.

"I have been supportive of that of finding a way to offer that kind of pastoral care for gay and lesbian folks," he said, but adds: "We have to keep clear that until the national church decides to produce officially sanctioned rites, that what we are doing is offering blessings in the context of pastoral care, not public rites the whole [Episcopal] church has agreed upon."

Maze said he is asking other churches in the diocese to follow the example set at St. Paul's if the parishes are interested in taking the same step. "We want very involved study and lots of opportunity for folks to speak and answer the question of, What does this congregation understand this blessing to mean?'" he said. "Some congregations are tackling that and some are not."

The recent resolution passed by the Fayetteville church states: "The Vestry of St. Paul¹s Episcopal Church expresses its support for our church's offering of a rite of blessing as a resource for pastoral care for our gay and lesbian members who wish to make a lifelong, loving commitment of mutual fidelity as a couple. By this resolution we communicate our position to our clergy, our Bishop and the [coming] General Convention of the Episcopal Church."

The goal of the vestry, the church's leadership body and the parish was to reach a consensus on the issue, not necessarily unanimous agreement. However, one "no" vote would have halted any decision, Grisham said.

Vestry votes were cast on a color system with green meaning consent and support, yellow expressing support with reservations the voter can live with, and red signifying disagreement but standing aside for the sake of unity. Black would signal disagreement. Of the 12 vestry members, 10 voted green, in support of the resolution. Two voted yellow. No one voted red or black.

Reservations were that the resolution did not have a provision for heterosexual couples who might not want to get married, yet might want a blessing ceremony. The other concern was that the resolution did not make it clear that this was not a step toward approving same-sex marriage.

Before the vestry¹s decision, Grisham had said if the members did not support a rite of blessing, he would not bring up the issue again during his tenure. He¹s been with the Fayetteville congregation since 1997. He also said the process of reaching a consensus on the topic was difficult for parishioners on both sides of the discussion.

"It's been painful for us to bring this up so openly for those who don¹t want it brought up at all and feel the church is moving in a direction that is wrong and unfaithful," he said. "But for some gay members it has also been painful."

Some gay members were unhappy that the issue was even up for debate that something as fundamental as recognizing their relationships was cause for discussion. Grisham noted that some parishioners have visited other churches during the discussion process, and some have left the church.

"Not much meaningful in life comes down to a real simple either /or,' and we've been able to talk about human sexuality with a great deal of depth and comprehensiveness. As difficult as it is, it feels authentic," he said Jim Halsell is junior warden of the vestry and directed the four parish meetings before the vote.

He said over the past two years the vestry had been talking with fellow members about the issue, knew their opinions and concerns and voted accordingly. "When you go through a process like this, sharing at a table some of your feelings about a change, people start to develop some real community. What could have been contentious and divisive turned out to be a communitybuilding exercise," he says. Holly Park is one of the church's gay parishioners. She was involved in the discussions and meetings at the church and was pleased with the vestryis decision.

But she believes more remains to be done, especially continued education for parishioners and the dispelling of misinformation about homosexuals. While Park is encouraged by the decision, she is also pragmatic. "It's still not the same as a marriage rite, but it's a first step," she says. "I've been realistic about what to expect from this."

Park, who has been with her partner for 12 years, says the rite of blessing would be a meaningful recognition of their long-term relationship. "To have the church say it is blessed would make us part of the community in a way we haven¹t been before. It would mean a great deal," Park says. "It would make our lives more whole ‹ not between us because together we are whole, but between the church and community at large." Church leaders say now the church can turn its attention to other matters.

"It's taken a fair amount of energy, and it¹s really only a small part of St. Paul¹s ministry," Grisham said. He added that the goal was never to reach unanimous agreement but rather a sense of reconciliation or consensus where all might not agree, but they do agree to work together and respect differences. "We are one community, and we intend to live together," he says.

The Rev. Larry Benfield, rector at Christ Episcopal Church in Little Rock, said he believes St. Paul's is further along in discussions of same-sex blessings than any other Episcopal church in Arkansas. He also said consideration of blessing same-sex couples is not on the Christ Church agenda, not necessarily because the church would be opposed to it, but because no same-sex couples have asked for a rite of blessing.

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