Thomas Nagel, Professor of Philosophy and Law at New York University, who is an atheist, is a critic of fellow atheists who argue for a materialistic and reductionist explanation of the mind. He maintains that many atheists who maintain that life can be explained purely in physical terms are afraid of religion. He writes,

I want atheism to be true, and I am made uneasy by the fact that some of the most intelligent and well-informed people I know are religious believers. It isn’t just that I don’t believe in God and, naturally, hope that I’m right in my belief. It’s that I hope that there is no God! I don’t want there to be a god; I don’t want the universe to be like that. My guess is that this cosmic authority problem is not a rare condition… I am curious…whether there is anyone who is genuinely indifferent as to whether there is a God. (Thomas Nagel, The Last Word)

There are all sorts of reasons why we may want to believe in God. Our motives are mixed, and out of self-interest we may feel that belief in God is the safer bet. But Nagel is here pointing out that the same may be true of reasons not to believe in God. Belief in God can be dangerous to your ego, to your pride, to your need to be in control. Nagel is saying that it is not a question of lack of sufficient evidence. He is saying that there is a deep prejudice in favor of unbelief. Tim Keller of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York describes a scenario in which skepticism cannot be objective.

Let’s say you’re a judge and suddenly a case comes before you concerning a company in which you own stock. And the decision will have a huge impact on the price of the stock. Would you be allowed, or would you allow yourself, to rule in the case? No, because you couldn’t possibly be objective when you know that if the decision goes a certain way, you’re going to lose all of your money. So that law requires that you recuse yourself. Here’s the problem: With Christianity, we’re all in that very position. When it comes to decide whether its claims are right or wrong, you have at least some vested interest in them being wrong. But you don’t get to recuse yourself; you can only look at the evidence. (Tim Keller, Encounters with Jesus, p.87)

Keller suggests some ways to deal with this dilemma. First of all, doubt your doubts. Be skeptical of your own skepticism because you are not completely objective. You may have all sorts of reasons you can list which prejudice you against faith in Christ. Be honest and admit that you don’t want the claims of Christ to be true. You are not dealing with just intellectual reasoning, but with an invitation to a personal relationship with someone who claims to be your Creator and Savior. If you want to be open-minded you will ask for help with your prejudices. Pray for wisdom and understanding to the One who may be there and in whose presence you stand. Pray that Jesus will reveal himself to you.

Secondly, there are people who are suspicious of their motives for believing, and who question whether they have enough faith to believe in the resurrected Christ. They are relying on their own ability to believe when they are simply not capable of belief without help from the Spirit of God. Jesus had to come to Thomas before he could believe. Jesus presented himself to Thomas and forced the disciple to face the physical evidence. “Stop doubting and believe.” Faith is impossible without the grace of God enabling us to believe. “Faith comes from hearing the message and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” (Romans 10:17) Faith comes from a personal encounter with Christ and his message not just an intellectual argument.

Thirdly, faith is not irrational – it is reasonable. God gives us evidence for faith. Faith is commitment on the evidence. It is not a leap into the dark, but a leap of faith based on sufficient evidence. The disciples did not expect the resurrection at all. They were unbelieving and incredulous. They required evidence, just as we would. There was the evidence of the empty tomb. Where had the body of Jesus gone? There was the evidence of the post-resurrection appearances to Mary, to the disciples on the road to Emmaus, to the disciples in the Upper Room. “After that, he appeared to more than five hundred of the brothers at the same time, then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles.” (1 Cor.15:6) What kind of evidence would you need to believe to deal with your doubts and prejudices against a miracle of this sort? What kind of evidence would you need in order to believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God, resurrected from the dead? Thomas got the evidence he needed. What kind of evidence would it take for your faith to be strengthened? Would you need a special encounter with Christ? That is what happened to Bill Thompson, an artist friend of mine. He wrote to me about a vision he had.

I was at a point of desolation, I was depressed about my art career, bitter, and at a low point. It had gotten so bad that my creativity was diminishing and I was losing interest in creating art. I was being cross and bitter with my family, and my patience and humor and loving kindness seemed to be gone as well. I felt like I had a thundercloud following me and I couldn't get out of my negative state of mind.

In a dream I was driving alone in a car on a lonesome stretch of road at night. I was driving to some unknown destination and all I could see was the road ahead in my headlights. I glanced back into my rear view mirror and literally my heart froze. In my rear view mirror was the face of Jesus. It was a shock and I was so startled and afraid. My heart literally felt like it was frozen. I gazed momentarily into the face and eyes of the figure in my rear view mirror and I realized it must be Christ. I felt His awesome presence and knew it was not with a mortal being. It was cosmic. His eyes saw through me, his all knowing all seeing eyes were kind but I felt that he knew all the sins I had ever committed all the weakness, and bitterness I had been carrying. I felt the awesome presence of God Almighty, Creator of all Things. I was literally petrified and in a state of shock. All this just from seeing His face in my rear view mirror. I knew He knew all of me and I began weeping, sobbing uncontrollably. My eyes filled with tears and I wept. He had not said a word. Just looking into His face and seeing his eyes provoked my sobbing. I felt an enormous weight lifting off of me as I sobbed. He said nothing that I was cognizant of hearing, but I felt within his expression that He was saying something like, "Go and live, but live so that the next time we meet, you can see me with joy and not sorrow." And that was all. The vision left me, I awoke in a cold sweat, my face moist from the tears I had cried. I tried to recall His countenance and features. It was difficult to distinguish because he seemed back lit, like a car headlight was behind him creating a halo of light behind his head and shoulders. His features were strong and chiseled, and his hair appeared reddish and fairly curly, but that might have been the light halo effect. The overwhelming sense I felt was His power and His awesomeness. I felt that in that instant glance I was fully in the presence of the Almighty Creator of the World and Universe. I literally was so struck that I couldn't look back, all I could do was look through the mirror.

Now when I feel weak, bitter, or angry, I try to pull up and retrieve that dream/memory. When I have moments of Spiritual lucidity, I can relive the feeling of being in His presence and I consider it my own personal miracle. I still have doubts about the veracity of my imagination and memory, but I know that the experience literally made me feel like my heart was stopped and caused me to sob and cry (in my sleep) uncontrollably. I wish I could keep the vision fresher in my memory so I would follow closer in His ways and never again fall prey to my sinful nature.

(His website is www.wbthompson-art.com)

St. Thomas responded to his encounter with Jesus by acknowledging Jesus as, “My Lord and my God.” Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” St. John goes on to state that Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of the disciples which are not recorded in the Gospel. “But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.” (John 20:31)

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