We can surround ourselves with every good thing, every beautiful object, but we are never satisfied with things if we lack the warmth of another's love. We long for something more, we are dissatisfied with what we have, if we find ourselves alone.

If you doubt the truth of this ask the recently bereaved, the widow, or widower, or any single person. "It is not good for man to be alone." We may surround ourselves with pets, we can attempt to turn every living creature into a companion by naming them, as Adam tried to do, but they cannot fulfill our deepest need for human companionship. At the beginning of creation is the recognition that human companionship is essential to wellbeing, and needs to be a priority in our lives.

The creation of Eve is described as occurring during Adam's deep sleep to emphasize the mystery of the union between man and woman. Both belong together, being formed from the same source. One is a part of the other and both are a unity. "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh." There is the recognition: "Here is my alter ego, my other self." Because of the nature of this creation, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh." These words were quoted by Jesus: "Haven't you read that at the beginning The Creator made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Matthew 19:4-6; Mark 10:6-8)

This is the biblical understanding of marriage. Whatever Congress, courts, or different cultures may decide, the biblical understanding of marriage is between one man and one woman. This understanding of marriage is under attack today. The National Marriage project at the University of Virginia and the Center for Marriage and Families at the New York based Institute for American Values has issued a report entitled "When Marriage Disappears: The Retreat from Marriage in Middle America." They conclude that the basic foundations of American life are in jeopardy with a growing decline in marriage among the middle class. What has caused this trend? The authors of the report identify three factors:

* Permissive attitudes. There is more acceptance of divorce and premarital sex.
* More risky behaviors, such as multiple sexual partners and marital infidelity, neither of which contribute to stable marriages.
* The decline of middle class values such as emphasis on education and deferred gratification.

A Nationwide poll and census data analysis by the Pew Research Center in association with Time magazine show that only 52 percent of American adults were married in 2008, and the proportion of those surveyed who said they think marriage is becoming obsolete jumped to 39 percent. Thirty eight percent of American children are now born outside marriage. Only 40 percent of Americans consider children fundamental to marriage. In the California Proposition 8 case, the counsel for the plaintiffs, David Boies, argued that marriage is no longer an institution but rather, a private contract.

Both President Obama and Vice-President Biden have said that their understanding of marriage is 'evolving', which is a code word for progressive change. Certainly our understanding of functions and roles in marriage have evolved over the years for the good. Both husband and wife have more equal roles than they used to have. But marriage's common denominator across times and cultures has been rooted in biology and procreation. The three traditional purposes of marriage as instituted by God are:

* The union in heart, body and mind intended for mutual joy.
* The help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity.
* The procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord.

The Manhattan Declaration has addressed the challenges to the biblical understanding of marriage in our nation's culture. I commend its witness to your attention.

Basic to these challenges is the loneliness of many who are seeking completion in extramarital relationships. While marriage provides for an answer to this loneliness it is not the only answer.

"Life presents such a wealth of possibilities to love, serve, and suffer with other people that even the person who lives his life without a married partner is given the same opportunity to find and fulfill himself in devotion to others. Marriage, to which the text refers, constitutes only a kind of model for the fulfillment of love in our life. So even the person who lives a single life can find his orientation in this text.... Only the person who loves, and does not think of himself actually finds himself, and inversely, the person who seek himself is always cheated." (Helmut Thielicke, How The World Began, p.92)

The key is to love the neighbor God has put in our paths, as ourselves. It is to live our lives for others, not for our own gratification. It is to learn that love is to give and to serve and not to get and be served. Completeness occurs when we give away part of ourselves to another - to give our 'rib' from our own body - that costs us something - our time, our attention, our money, our resources - to help someone else. It is when we give ourselves away, when we sacrifice for another, when we share what we have with them, that we feel complete and not ashamed.

St. Paul uses this passage, not only to teach about marriage but to remind us that this profound mystery is also about the relationship between Christ and his bride, the church. (Ephesians 5:32) We two are meant to become one. We become complete through our faith union with Christ. Only Christ can completely fulfill our desires. In heaven our union will be consummated: "Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory. For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready...Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb." (Revelation 19:7,9)

The Song of Songs tells us both about the joys of romantic love and our union with Christ. That is why we can say "rejoice in the Lord." Jesus calls us his friends. He promises to be with us always. We are never alone. Our longing for completion will be consummated in heaven where we will be ever with the Lord. Thanks be to God who loves us with an everlasting love.

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