Early on in their marriage she had come to faith in Jesus Christ. She had shared it all with her husband. The more she grew in faith, delighted in scripture, and saw the Lord miraculously answer prayer, the more she told him. She just kept on telling him. A thousand times, she'd invite him to come to the prayer meetings. A thousand times he pushed her away.

Until she realized the door was closed. Bolted shut. He didn't want to hear it. Didn't want to talk about it. And didn't like what was happening to her. And so she stopped. They lived their lives, raised their kids, and shared everything together, except this. Not this. Never this. He had no problem with her attending the prayer meetings. As a matter of fact, he wanted her to go.

It made him look good. On Sunday mornings, he even encouraged people to go. You see, he was the minister, the senior pastor of the church. He was the Sunday morning preacher. The seminary graduate. The writer, theologian, and brilliant scholar, regarded by his colleagues as a leader among leaders. no one knew what his wife knew. No one knew the grief she bore. She couldn't tell anyone. How could she? so she ran to her place, her secret place, day after day, year after year, coming before the Lord, weeping for her husband, praying the same prayer:

"Lord Jesus, save my husband." Every once in a while it came out of her mouth. In weak moments. Angry moments. Moments she'd wish she could take back. But she'd say it to his face: "I'm praying for you. Praying that Jesus will save you." nothing infuriated him more. nothing pushed him further away. He'd come back just as fast: "Who are you to say that to me?"

The rift only deepened over time. In a moment of self-vindication, he boasted in being elected to the office of bishop in the Anglican Church. He told her how many leaders and honored dignitaries in the church believed him to be a good and godly man. "Everyone," he'd tell her, "except you."

She never stopped praying. Her tears bitter. Her heart broken before the Lord. Prayer-it is the privilege of those who are bound to His covenant.

This is exactly what Abraham did for his nephew Lot. In the early days of the Bible, as the Lord was teaching His people about what it means to be in a covenant relationship with Him, He allowed access into His presence.

Later, in the days of Moses, He would be more specific. But for now, He wanted Abraham to know that he could come and stand before Him. And so, in Genesis 18, the Lord appeared to Abraham. He said, as if thinking to Himself, "shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do?" (Gen. 18:17).

The Lord shared His heart concerning Sodom and Gomorrah. The time of judgment had come upon them for the enormity of their sin and wickedness. But what about Lot? That's where Lot and his family lived.

The Bible says that Abraham stood before the Lord and began to speak to Him: "Will you indeed sweep away the righteous and the wicked? suppose there are fifty righteous within the city. . . . suppose forty are there? . . . Thirty . . . twenty . . . ten?" (Gen. 18:23–32).

Abraham was learning the most honored privilege of a covenant child of God. We are given permission to stand before Him. To speak to Him. To pray and intercede for others.

Just like this woman did for her husband, the pastor. Well after the children were gone, with families of their own, and well after her husband had established himself as one of the most respected ministers and church leaders of his time, he slipped into a quiet sin. He thought he had control of it, but he didn't. No one knew the addiction that enslaved him. He was that good. He brilliantly hid it from those closest to him. But he knew and he knew God knew. And he knew, soon enough, the world would know too. He had to do something. But what?

As he watched his wife pack her bags to attend a three-day prayer conference, he surprised her and said, "I'm going with you." "You won't like it," she said as a matter of fact. But he went anyway. He packed his bags. He drove with her to the airport. He walked into the conference and entered a world where no one knew he was a minister. Just a man. A husband trying, after all these years, to support his wife.

She was never clear when it happened, or how. But at some point in the conference, the Lord answered her twenty five- year-old prayer. He opened her husband's heart. At first, the man felt fear. Fear that his ministry had been a sham. Fear that everything he'd done, everything he'd built, everything he'd believed, was about to crumble into a pile of rubble around him. He didn't want that. He could feel himself resisting, turning away.

But the Lord's hand was strong on him. so strong that tears began filling his eyes. All these years, he knew his wife had been praying for him, weeping for him, that he'd come to know Jesus and be saved by Him. real. Deep. Alive. And he had laughed at her, pushing her away. He was stuck. If he stayed, he'd have to face his fears. If he left, he'd have to deal with an addiction that was strangling him at his very core. He didn't know what to do. Except get on his knees. And let Him come. Let Him help him. And He did.

"I don't know how it's possible," he testified at the very end of the conference, "to be a seminary graduate, a pastor of churches, a theologian and bishop in the church of Jesus Christ and not know Him as I know Him now. My Lord. My savior. My God. But I am here to say-it grieves me to say-it is possible. My wife has spent decades in prayer for me. And here, standing before you, I tell you-her prayers have been answered. I came here suffering from an addiction I couldn't handle alone. I leave here . . . not alone." With that, he sat down and wept.

QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION

It doesn't seem imaginable that the Lord knows us so intimately-and hears and meets us as we come to Him in prayer. Have you considered this great privilege that is yours in Christ?

If our identity is found in God-that is, who we are rests on who He is and what He's done for us-then prayer is everything. Are you going to Him, both privately and with brothers and sisters in Christ? Is prayer everything to you?

THaddeus Barnum is senior pastor of teh Apostles in Fairfield, Ct. and a founding board member of The Mustard Seed Project. He is also a bishop in PEARUSA

You can purchase Real Identity from The Wesleyan Publishing House here: http://www.wesleyan.org/wph