"There is a time to be born & a time to die": we cannot hasten or determine either one.
"A time to plant & a time to uproot": the seasons of planting and harvesting are set.
"A time to kill & a time to heal": we defend & protect as well as bind up wounds.
"A time to tear down & a time to build": we demolish and we redevelop.
"A time to weep & a time to laugh": we lament our failures and we rejoice in our successes.
"A time to mourn and a time to dance": we grieve our losses and celebrate our joys.
"A time to scatter stones & a time to gather them": we simplify our lives & set boundaries.
"A time to embrace and a time to refrain": we grow closer & we distance ourselves.
"A time to search & a time to give up": we pursue our dreams & we revise our goals.
"A time to keep & a time to throw away": we collect & we dispose.
"A time to tear & a time to mend": we separate & we come together.
"A time to be silent & a time to speak": we keep confidences & we witness to the truth.
"A time to love & a time to hate": we are passionate for good & oppose evil.
"A time for war & a time for peace": we fight for what is right & work for harmony.

We do all these at different seasons of our lives as changing circumstances demand. What is right for one time is not appropriate for another time. Some times are not of our choosing. They are imposed on us by events outside our control. We act differently with different priorities and attitudes at different times in life. As we age we adapt to different challenges. We find the value or the beauty of each stage if we see it in the light of eternity. God "has also set eternity in the hearts of men". Instead of feeling that we are puppets on a string, at the mercy of change and decline we believe that God has a pattern and plan he is fulfilling in us, that will be revealed in eternity. We can only see the underside of the tapestry of life. They make no sense and have no pattern until we see it from the other side -- the side of eternity.

When gray threads mar life's pattern
and seem so out of line,
Trust the Master Weaver
Who planned the whole design.

For in life's choicest patterns
Some dark threads must appear
To make the rose threads fairer.
The gold more bright and clear.

The pattern may seem intricate
And hard to understand,
But trust the Master Weaver
And his steady, guiding hand.

Behind our life the Weaver stands.
And works his wondrous will.
We leave it all to his wise hands
And trust his perfect skill.

Should mystery enshroud his plan
And our short sight be dimmed,
We will not try the whole to scan
But leave each thread to him.

Some people think that there are two great turning points in life: the passage from childhood to adulthood and that from adulthood to old age. The first is an advance to maturity, the second is an advance into a new fulfilment. It is a law of life that it must always move forward. In both cases we need to move forward to the next stage of life. Those who do not do so cling to the illusions of youth, or else to their children, in the hope that they will thus preserve some vestige of youth. To refuse to move on to the next stage in life is to remain stuck in the past. It would be like trying to live according to the morning when it is afternoon or evening. We must accept that life moves on. That is the reality of living. We must accept the reality of the stage of life we are in. We accept life in its entirety for our task is to fulfill God's purpose for us.

"When the child cannot leave his mother's apron-strings, when he cannot assume his adolescent autonomy, he is already suspected of neurosis. When that adolescent cannot become adult and assume the responsibilities of an adult, he sinks into neurosis. Neurosis is always linked with an inability to evolve. The adult who cannot accept growing old, or the old person who cannot accept his old age, or who accepts it grudgingly, 'because he's got to', is in the same difficulty, blocked in his evolution against the stream of life. Life is one-way, its law is the same for all, it moves only forwards. ....One prepares for old age by taking a positive attitude throughout one's life, that is to say by living each stage fully. The Bible talks of the patriarchs, like Abraham, who died in peace because he "died at a good old age, and old man and full of years; and he was gathered to his people" (Genesis 25:8). (Paul Tournier, Learn to Grow Old, p.178)

Life is a school of love, which is made up of successive stages as we learn to love those nearest us and then our neighbors. Several times in our lives we have to negotiate the decisive turning points which bring rejuvenation of the heart because they mark a new departure. For me there was a decisive turning point when I decided to do my theological graduate work in England rather than stay in New Zealand. There was another decisive turning point when I fell in love with and married my wife and came to the USA, something I had never contemplated. There was other turning points when I accepted calls to ministry in Jacksonville, San Antonio and Amelia Island. At each stage there were demanding tasks to fulfill in different settings. There were goals to achieve and struggles to overcome difficulties. When we face obstacles and put in the effort that is called for to overcome them we find meaning and purpose in that stage of our lives. Step by step we build our lives as each stage has its meaning for us. What have been the decisive turning points of your lives? Can you see God's hands in them?

Life is a journey from one stage to another as we seek first the kingdom of God. God leads us in our daily lives to achieve the goal he has for us to become like Jesus. In his High Priestly prayer in the Upper Room before his death Jesus said, "Father, the time has come... I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do...Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world" (John 17:1,4,24). Jesus completed the work he was given to do. He wants us to join him when our time is come. Then we will see the pattern God is weaving in our lives. What a joy that will be!

The Rev. Ted Schroder is the pastor of an independent congregation on Amelia Island, Florida