It happens once; I shrug it off. It happens a second week in a row; I'm annoyed. It happens a third, fourth and fifth time, now I am angry at my neighbor for his inconsideration or stupidity. I have a choice. I can do nothing so the anger will likely stew even if I try to wish it away. I can do some petty yet satisfying "payback" like at night toss my dog's mess onto his fastidiously kept front lawn. Or, I can politely confront my neighbor in a reasonable manner. Either way, I have to cope with my reaction and try to right the wrong.

Saint Paul is very realistic about anger. He writes, "Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not make room for the devil (Ephesians 4:26)."

The apostle knows anger, like all passions (envy, jealousy, lust, shame) come and go. It is how we act, or not act, on them that matters. I like that Paul gives a timeframe to sort out the anger; "Do not let the sun set on your anger." It sounds folksy.

Yet, it is wise. How many times have we said a harsh word or done a mean thing, caused harm such we needed to ask forgiveness? How about when we send a nasty email, text message or an arrogant, judgmental posting on Facebook or a blog? (In the big picture, I wonder if this new social media is not causing more harm than good and is corrosive to real conversation but, that's another topic.)

Back to Saint Paul. If we follow his counsel not to let the sun set on our anger, then God is giving us some emotional elbowroom. Those of us who tend to suppress and deny anger ought to take time to be honest about it and reflect on what or who triggered it, and why. Those of us who tend to react with anger too quickly ought to take a deep breath and let it cool before we speak or act harshly. Those of us who let anger stew and avoid conflict at all costs ought to take courage and deal with the situation.

Now the scenario involving the neighbor and his garbage bins is an annoying inconvenience. We know circumstances that anger us because they involve serious matters of people's safety, well-being or issues of justice. This can be tricky, because anger can motivate us to speak and act out against wickedness and immorality yet we do not want to increase acrimony. Saint Paul also helps us here when he exhorts, "Let no evil talk come out of your mouth, but only what is useful for building up...so that your words may give grace to those who hear (Ephesians 4:29.)"

It is possible to speak about serious even upsetting matters concerning one's marriage or family, church or community, the world at large and not have to yell or accuse, belittle or demean. I read the Gospels and see the Lord Jesus was indignant on occasion. Yet, he always spoke with people's reconciliation to God in mind. He rebuked without condemning. His words could be stern with the intent to convert, like lancing a boil for healing.

Remember the passion of anger comes and goes, because it is always a reaction to a perceived unfairness or injury. It is not a fundamental disposition of the soul like joy, compassion, mercy or hope. Anger is a passing storm. God calls us to peace. Yet, when a storm comes, big or small, the Lord wants us to face it with dispatch. Then, we can move ahead with the main thing, praise, service and love.

Father K. Brewster Hastings is the rector of Saint Anne's Church in Abington, PA