"In some circles today depression is not thought of as being in the same category as physical illnesses such as cancer, heart disease, or other bodily sicknesses. Many think of it as having to do only with the mind, thus one ought to be able to overcome it by sheer willpower, or at least prayer and faith...... What makes clinical (chemical) depression confusing for people is that traumatic events, such as the death of a loved one, can trigger chemical reaction in the brain that cannot be treated through counseling or self-help techniques as normal or reactive depression can. Chemical or clinical depression requires medication.

What many also do not understand is that sometimes depression is caused by hormonal imbalances in the blood. At this point, whether caused by a hormonal imbalance or a traumatic event, that person finds himself, or herself, unable to overcome depression through normal therapy. Such was the effect of Ronnie's suicide on Ron." (Ron Owens, Ron Dunn: His Life and Mission, p.98)

Ron describes his experience.

Darkness, despair, depression - are these legitimate spiritual experiences? Isaiah the prophet thought so: 'Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God' (Isaiah 50:10). As a matter of fact, Isaiah is saying that the way you can recognize one who fears God and obeys the Lord Jesus is by observing how he acts in the darkness.

The picture Isaiah portrays is that of a man on a journey. As he walks, the light is suddenly withdrawn and darkness rushes in. The Hebrew text indicates that 'he walks in deep darkness without even a glimmer of light to guide him.' When there is light, you know where you are, you can see where you're going, you can read the road signs and know how far it is to the end of your journey. When there is light you see obstacles in the road, you can distinguish friend from foe. Where there is light, there is knowledge, there is reassurance.

In the darkness you have none of these things. You feel alone, abandoned, forsaken. Theologians have a term for this: Deus Absconditus - the God who is hidden. Richard Foster calls it the 'Sahara of the heart.' John of the Cross described it as the 'dark night of the soul.' The Dark Night of the Soul - when no light is thrown on the 'why?' of your suffering; when the usual means of grace - prayer, worship, singing, God's Word - have no effect on the drooping spirit; when you are 'numb' to spiritual things; when the tried and true formulas from books and seminars sound hollow and empty; when you discover there are some things you cannot praise or pray your way out of.

This 'dark night of the soul' is a major theme of many of the psalms. Why don't we ever sing Psalm 88? "My soul is full of trouble and my life draws near the grave... You have put me in the lowest pit, in the darkest depths... You have taken my companions and loved ones from me; the darkness is my closest friend." ...As I studied these psalms of disorientation I found that never one time does the psalmist say he no longer trusts in God. Even in the darkest of the psalms God is perceived as one who is present in and attentive to the disorientations of life. And it is this kind of stubborn, protesting and lamenting faith that brings new life in deathly places." (pp.124,133)

He quotes this anonymous poem:

The cry of man's anguish went up unto God, "Lord take away pain. The shadow that darkens the world Thou hast made; the close-coiling chain That strangles the heart; the burden that weighs on wings that would soar - Lord, take away pain from the world Thou hast made, that it love Thee the more."

Then answered the Lord to the cry of His world:
"Shall I take away pain And with it the power of the soul to endure, made strong by the strain?
Shall I take away pity, that knits heart to heart, and sacrifice high?
Will ye lose all your heroes that lift from the fire white brows to the sky? Shall I take away love, that redeems with a price and smiles at its loss? Can ye spare from your lives that would climb unto mine the Christ on His Cross." (Anon.)

Darkness need not be our final destination. In Jesus we discover that we need not fear that God will withdraw his Spirit from us. Nothing can separate us from God's love. Not death, life, loneliness, grief, anxiety, confusion, depression nor "anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Rom.8:38,39)

Kathryn Greene-McCreight is an Episcopal priest with a Ph.D. from Yale. She has suffered from depression for the last quarter of her life. She also has been diagnosed as bipolar, has been hospitalized five times and given two courses of electro convulsive therapy for major depression. Medication has enabled her to keep functioning, to improve and to avoid depression. Her book, Darkness Is My Only Companion, (Brazos Press, Grand Rapids), takes its title from the last verse of Psalm 88. She acknowledges that she suffers along with millions of others, from brain disease. She prays the prayer of St. Ambrose of Milan (340-397)

Lord Jesus Christ, you are for me medicine when I am sick;
You are my strength when I need help;
You are life itself when I fear death;
You are the way when I long for heaven;
You are light when all is dark;
You are my food when I need nourishment.

She writes about the importance of prayer. "Prayer has been for me a large comfort, both my own prayers and the prayers of others on my behalf.... I have always been wary of 'faith healers.' Faith healers remind me of hucksters. Not all healers are alike, however, and not all are hucksters. We invited one who worked in the Diocese of Connecticut to our parish for a healing workshop. He stressed that the prayers would begin the healing process but that healing would rarely be a dramatic event. The workshop involved at one point gathering the congregation around one person at a time and praying with the laying on of hands. When it was my turn, I sat in the chair at the center of the crowd, and they put their hands on me, and those who couldn't reach me laid their hands on those in front of them. They began to pray. I do not remember the specific words Nigel used, but I was overwhelmed. In part it was that all those people were around me, praying for me, and I felt a deep gratitude and tenderness. In part it was that I felt all those years of blackness being pulled out of me. I wept. I don't know how long this lasted. Maybe ten minutes or longer. All I know is that since then I have been doing better and better all the time, despite my previous judgments of this type of healing. Now, I would never use this experience as an excuse to stop seeing my therapist or to cut off the medication.... Since prayer is key to the Christian's relationship with God, it will naturally bring health in God's good time. To be brought into relationship with the living God, to be able to touch the fringe of Jesus prayer shawl, works in us God's curative power. It may be on the other side of illness, through the path of the dark night and past difficult experiences. But to know God is eternal life. Prayer will bring health - even for the bent and broken mind of the mentally ill." (pp.132-134)

St. Paul recounts how he "despaired even of life. Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead...he will deliver us." (2 Cor.1:8-10) This is our hope. Let us rely on him, trust in him, even when we go through the darkness of depression. He will deliver us.

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