A friend of mine was interviewing for the position of pastor to a church in south Florida. In reviewing his ministry experience he shared with the search committee how each position that he had filled had a particular challenge and mission to accomplish. Each one had been different. One member of the committee looked at him and asked him, "What do you think your challenge and mission would be here?" My friend looked around the committee, composed of older people, all retired from careers, and said, "Perhaps it is to help you to die well." The search committee called him to the position.

Eugene Peterson, a Presbyterian minister and spiritual writer, author of The Message, a modern translation of the Bible and many other books, was interviewed recently in Christianity Today. He was asked for his description of Christian spirituality. In his reply he expressed his concern about using the language of our culture to interpret the Gospel. He commented: "When we advertise the gospel in terms of the world's values, we lie to people. We lie to them, because this is a new life. It involves following Jesus. It involves the Cross. It involves death, an acceptable sacrifice. We give up our lives.

"The Gospel of Mark is so graphic this way. The first half of the Gospel is Jesus showing people how to live. He's healing everybody. Then right in the middle, he shifts. He starts showing people how to die: 'Now that you've got a life, I'm going to show you how to give it up.' That's the whole spiritual life. It's learning how to die. As you learn how to die, you start losing all your illusions, and you start being capable now of true intimacy and love. It involves a kind of learned passivity, so that our primary mode of relationship is receiving, submitting, instead of giving and getting and doing. We don't do that very well. We're trained to be assertive, to get, to apply, or to consume and to perform." (Christianity Today, March 2005)

Is this the spirituality of the Cross - to learn how to give up our lives, to offer our lives as sacrifices, to learn how to die to our illusions, to die to our self-concern, to die to our needs in favor of the needs of those we want to love?

"Human nature is remarkably tenacious. For reasons of security, fear or comfort, we don't let go very easily. When we love we also want to possess; when we want something we desire it becomes an obsession. Powerful forces attract us to what we own....We have to learn to let go. This is one of the painful aspects of human existence. We become too attached to life and its benefits...Yet the central call of the gospel is that we are to let go of all that we cling to and find our security in an eternal savior." (Unveiling Depression in Women: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Depression, Archibald Hart and Catherine Hart Weber, p.82)

Peterson says that it involves a kind of 'learned passivity.' All my life I have learned not to be passive, not to be a victim, not to be lazy. It is hard, if not seemingly impossible, when our individualistic, competitive culture has enshrined activity, has urged me to become assertive, to be goal oriented, to change and to learn passivity! But what if my goal is to become like Christ in his death, to take up my Cross and follow him, and to learn to die well? I have to learn another and contradictory set of skills in order to do that. I have to learn that I have no control over my last days, and less control than I thought over all my days. Rather than fight against suffering and dying, against losing control, I submit to the process, and ask myself, what does God want me to learn through this part of my life, how can I serve him in this mode of existence.

What can we learn from Jesus? His seven last words on the cross can teach us.

* He asked forgiveness for those who caused him to suffer. * He was concerned for the care of his mother and those whom he would leave behind. * He was able to acknowledge his physical needs and request appropriate relief for discomfort. * He reached out to reassure the penitent thief of the promise of eternal life. * He acknowledged the darkness of sin that separates us from God. * He affirmed that the purpose of his life had been fulfilled and he had no unfinished business. * He was able to surrender himself unreservedly into the hands of his heavenly Father.

It is a mature Christian who can live his life and end it this well:

· To make sure that we have made peace with any who might have offended us - to eliminate any resentment and desire for revenge.

· To make provision for those who need our care.

· To seek palliative care and to refuse extreme measures.

· To witness to those around us of our faith in the promises of the Gospel.

· To confess any sins and seek absolution and forgiveness from Christ's bearing of them on the Cross on our behalf.

· To accept that God's purpose for our life has been fulfilled.

· To be able to give up and surrender our lives into the hands of our loving Father.

Hugh Reid, Senior Minister of Kingsway-Lambton United Church in Toronto, tells the story of a friend who, with courage and peace, had prepared himself and his family for his death. They had discussed his funeral, and chosen hymns and speakers. He had been battling cancer for a long time. He and his family knew the seriousness of the battle they were in and they were doing everything right. They did not deny anything nor were they glum. They used the time to say the things that we all should say every day. He was aware of what was important in his life and he made time for those things. If he was to die from this modern plague, he made sure his dying would be a part of living rather than living a part of dying.

Just before Christmas, things turned for the worse. Possible years turned into possible days. He prepared himself, his family, his friends. Then he improved. It was slightly embarrassing. "What do you tell your friends?" he asked. His minister asked him if he were disappointed. They both laughed.

Hugh Reid made the point that because of Easter the death sentence that has hung over all creation was suddenly withdrawn. What appeared to be our destiny was changed by the resurrection of Jesus. There is still death ahead for all of us but because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ it is only part of a greater life. Now, in the new time given us, in the new eternity given us, we are to be doing the things that we should be doing every day, the things that are part of living not dying. This is what is means to die well - in the light of faith in Jesus, following him, giving up our lives to him, so that he will take us with him through the Cross to the Resurrection.

Amelia Plantation Chapel
Amelia Island, Florida