When I had a vision of God it was formed by images of this nature. I was raised in the Anglican Church in New Zealand which used the 1662 Book of Common Prayer of the Church of England. The morning and evening services began with an exhortation to "acknowledge and confess our manifold sins and wickedness, and that we should not dissemble nor cloke them before the face of Almighty God our heavenly Father; but confess them with an humble, lowly, penitent, and obedient heart; to the end that may obtain forgiveness of the same, by his infinite goodness and mercy." The confession which followed left no room for doubt that I had erred and strayed from God's ways like a lost sheep, had followed too much the devices and desires of my heart, had offended against God's holy laws, had left undone those things which I ought to have done, and had done those things which I ought not to have done, and that there was no health in me, for I was a miserable offender.

The Holy Communion service began with the reading of the Ten Commandments, to which we responded: "Lord, have mercy upon us, and incline our hearts to keep this law." The confession was equally solemn: "Almighty God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Maker of all things, Judge of all men; We acknowledge and bewail our manifold sins and wickedness, Which we, from time to time, most grievously have committed, By thought, word, and deed, Against thy Divine Majesty, Provoking most justly thy wrath and indignation against us. We do earnestly repent, And are heartily sorry for these our misdoings; The remembrance of them is grievous unto us; The burden of them is intolerable. Have mercy upon us, Have mercy upon us, most merciful Father..." My first knowledge of God was that of the Almighty Father, Maker of all things, Judge of all men who laid down the law which I was expected to keep. But, since I was a sinner, I was always failing, and having to confess my sins and seek forgiveness. Awareness of my need gave me a healthy respect for God which I have never lost. The awesome grandeur of God was revealed in his magnificent creation around me and the moral law written on my conscience.

Yet at the same time I was worshipping in my home church there was another image communicated to me through the stained glass windows, on the east wall, over the Altar Table. There were three windows portraying Jesus. The center one was of Jesus as an infant in Mary's arms with the inscription from Luke 2:52 "And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." The one on the left was that of Jesus as the Good Shepherd, carrying a lamb in his arms. The one on the right was that of Jesus as the Teacher with a Bible in his hands.

Jesus also was God, co-equal with the Father. The Creeds said so. We sang it in our canticles, anthems and hymns. He was the King of Glory, the everlasting Son of the Father who overcame the sharpness of death and opened the kingdom of heaven to all believers. We worshipped Jesus who came to reveal the knowledge of God and redeem us from our sins. Jesus was human like us, born of Mary, yet without sin. He also was our Judge but he was touched by our infirmities. He suffered on the Cross for us. He was the good shepherd who laid down his life for the sheep, who knows his sheep and they know him (John 10:11-18). This is God also. He comes as a teacher to instruct us in the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He is the Bread of Life, the Light of the world, the Resurrection and the Life, the Alpha and the Omega, the healer of the sick, the raiser of the dead and the giver of eternal life.

When I was fourteen, a visiting preacher introduced me to the image of Jesus standing at the door of my heart and knocking for entry, echoing the words of Rev.3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." I asked Jesus into my life, and experienced the assurance of forgiveness. The transcendent God came and indwelt me. No longer did I have to try to live up to his demands, but instead to welcome him to live out his life through me. Guilt was replaced by peace.

The Holy Spirit brought Jesus into my life. It was the Spirit who opened my eyes to the inspiration of the Holy Scriptures. It was the Spirit who strengthened my will to give me any ability I had to change my behavior for good. I needed to be filled with the Spirit if I wanted to produce the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. "Now the Lord is the Spirit...we are being transformed into his likeness... which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." (2 Cor.3:17, 18)

The Spirit also is God, co-equal with the Father and the Son. He sanctifies us. He gives us the spiritual gifts we need to serve God in his church. The Spirit strengthens us with power in our inner being to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge, so that we may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

In my first summer at theological graduate school in England I served an internship at a church which emphasized charismatic renewal and healing. Debates over the meaning of the baptism and fullness of the Holy Spirit were raging in the mainline churches. The command to be filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph.5:18) was given greater prominence. To this day I pray daily that I may be filled with the Spirit so that I may become all that God wants me to be. To be filled with the Spirit is to be filled with God, to have life in all its fullness of purpose, which Jesus came to bring (John 10:10).

When I was ordained, the Bishop led us in singing the ninth century words of the Veni, Creator Spiritus:

Come Holy Ghost, our souls inspire,
And lighten with celestial fire.
Thou the anointing Spirit art,
Who dost thy sevenfold gifts impart.
Thy blessed Unction from above,
Is comfort, Life, and fire of love.
Enable with perpetual light
The Dullness of our blinded sight.
Anoint and cheer our soiled face
With the abundance of thy grace,
Keep far our foes, give peace at home:
Where thou art guide, no ill can come.
Teach us to know the Father, Son, And Thee,
of both, to be but One.
That, through the ages all along,
This may be our endless song;
Praise to thy eternal merit,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

How did you come to know God? Do you know him as the one God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit? Jesus prayed to the Father: "Father, the time has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent." (John 17:1-3) "The Spirit will take from what is mine and make it known to you." (John 16:15)

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