In February, the journal Social Currents published a survey that purports to show the motivations that drive the overwhelming majority of those opposed to same-sex “marriage.” According to the research, “Nearly all respondents (90 percent) who strongly oppose same-sex marriage also believe that ‘sexual relations between two adults of the same sex’ is ‘always wrong.’” On the other side they found that “approximately five-sixths (83 percent) of responses who support same-sex marriage view same-sex relations as ‘not wrong at all.’”

Given that opposition to same-sex “marriage” has always held that gay sex is wrong, one might think those interested in maintaining traditional marriage would have provided the rational for the perspective—including, but not limited to, HIV/AIDS—by making it a focus of pulpit, cultural, and public policy discussions.

However, the vast majority of America’s conservative and even religious leaders have chosen to ignore or remain silent about the harms of gay sex and if they entered into the fray at all it was mainly to talk about the benefits of heterosexual marriage to children and society.

Contrast this with secular pulpits, which for two decades have without ceasing proclaimed the gospel of the support for gay sexual relationships from every screen, newspaper, magazine and book. The argument for sexual lifestyles free from moral restraint and disregarding medical consequences resonated with America’s political, legal, and popular culture, which has been steeped in heterosexual promiscuity, dangerous sexual acts and high divorce rates even inside religious communities.

It may be too late to salvage traditional marriage, but if America’s orthodox religious, political, and cultural leaders want to defend marriage from homosexual redefinition they must focus on the harms of gay sex.

The most popular and convincing argument for redefinition strikes at the most powerful motivation on earth: love. “If two men loving each other, why can’t they get married,” the rhetorical question goes.  Unless the love argument is responded to with love, the response will lose.

The best motivation for opposing same-sex “marriage” is love and concern for those with same-sex attraction, even when it’s socially difficult—to point to the fact that gay sex is harmful to health and wellness.

There is only one sexual lifestyle that is actually healthy for the human body and mind—one man and one woman, freely and totally, faithfully and fruitfully united. Apart from all the STIs which accompany sex with multiple partners—heterosexual or homosexual—there is the life-long psychological and emotional union that forms with one’s very first sexual partner.

In addition to the mental health of our fellow man, gay sex harms the physical health of men. While sleeping around is bad for anyone’s physical health, the harm of gay sex is astounding.  Just 2 percent to 4 percent of men say they have same-sex attractions, yet the Centers for Disease Control finds that nearly two-thirds of new HIV/AIDS cases every year are in the homosexual male community—and a similar percentage of HIV/AIDS-afflicted people are gay men.

Often, gay activists rebut the above facts by claiming that studies are biased, or that somehow the Obama administration’s bureaucrats are anti-gay researchers. However, they should at least listen to one of their own—Gens Hellquist, who prior to his death was the Executive Director of the Canadian Rainbow Health Coalition.

In 2006, one year after same-sex “marriage” was legalized in Canada, Hellquist gave a powerful testimony demanding more health-care dollars for the LGBT community.

In his testimony, Hellquist said that “We have one of the poorest health statuses in this country … Health issues affecting queer Canadians include lower life expectancy than the average Canadian, suicide, higher rates of substance abuse, depression, inadequate access to care and HIV/AIDS.”

“There are all kinds of health issues that are endemic to our community,” he added. “We have higher rates of anal cancer in the gay male community, lesbians have higher rates of breast cancer….”

He concluded this most powerful testimony by saying, “now that we can get married everyone assumes that we don’t have any issues any more. A lot of the deaths that occur in our community are hidden, we don’t see them. Those of us who are working on the front lines see them and I’m tired of watching my community die.”

In many of the federal court decisions overturning state laws on marriage, activist judges have said that federalism doesn’t apply because “animus” is not a valid reason to make laws. However, these judges are, whether on purpose or by accident, misjudging where that animus is aimed.

It is not aimed at homosexuals, who are all children of God and equal to anyone else. They are aimed at the chosen sexual actions of homosexuals, which cause grievous harm to their bodies, minds and souls.

This fight is also about children. As bisexual Professor Robert Oscar Lopez and five other people raised by same-sex parents argued in amicus briefs last month, same-sex “marriage” turns children from valued creations of love to mere cattle, bought and sold on the market. Of specific note are procedures opposed by the Catholic Church, such as use of IVF and other procedures to create children for homosexual couples—which cannot naturally create children.

True love isn’t just emotional—it includes the willingness to stand for what’s right and just for another person, even and perhaps especially when it’s unpopular. While some opposed to same-sex “marriage” have erred in their actions, by acting hateful or by shunning their same-sex-attracted brothers and sisters, the vast majority of people who have supported traditional marriage do so out of a love far greater than judges, politicians, and gay activists realize.

Again, what better way is there to express love than by informing friends, relatives, and loved ones that their lifestyles are harmful?  Such a position does not come from hate—rather, it comes from a love great enough to bear the labels of “hater” and “bigot” in order to fight for the spiritual and physical health of all people.

Editor’s note: The graphic above illustrates one of several statistics released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on recent HIV cases. Reprinted with permission from Crisis Magazine.