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TEC Imposes New Ordination Vows for Wannabee Bishops
A Satirical Essay
By David W. Virtue, DD
www.virtueonline.org
December 31, 2018
The Constitution of The Episcopal Church says this: I do believe the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments to be the Word of God, and to contain all things necessary to salvation; and I do solemnly engage to conform to the Doctrine, Discipline, and Worship of the Episcopal Church." (Article VIII of TEC Constitution)
VOL: Fr. Mark Snodgrass do you solemnly swear that if sacred Scripture should be at odds with General Convention resolutions, that you will support such resolutions as supreme.
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
VOL: If the "oath of conformity" means to conform to General Convention resolutions claims which uphold the Constitution and Canons of TEC and the vows themselves contain any pledge to obey all canons of General Convention irrespective of diocesan rights or to submit to a central body or office, will you do so?
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
VOL: Do you promise to ordain to the ministry non-celibate homosexuals and lesbians to all orders of ministry, even if it violates Holy Scripture and 2,000 years of church history?
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
VOL: Will you promote all LGBTQI persons to the priesthood, and to the episcopacy even if there is no historic precedent for doing so, and includes being at odds with the vast majority of Anglicans in the world?
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
VOL: Will you, in the name of the full inclusion of all God's children, especially transgendered folk and continue to press for the ordination of women, especially lesbian women, to the priesthood and episcopacy.
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
VOL: Will you press the case for the full inclusion of black men and women who are pansexual in orientation and behavior to the priesthood and episcopacy.
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
VOL: Will you, in the name of diversity and inclusion, eliminate homophobia, transphobia, islamophobia, ecophobia, pet phobia, with a nod to anti-Semitism except when it comes to Palestinians who want to destroy the State of Israel?
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
VOL: Will you promise to uphold Resolution B012 even it means deposing an orthodox priest or bishop who in good conscience cannot do so because it violates 2,000 years of Scripture, history and tradition.
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
VOL: Will you help drive out all those orthodox priests and bishops, even if they stand with the faith 'once for all delivered to the saints.'
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
VOL: Will you be obedient as "Bishop in the Church of God" and give the oath of conformity to the Presiding Bishop and House of Bishops and whoever may have authority over you, regardless of whatever unbiblical, cockamamie, post-Christian resolution General Convention comes up with next?
FR. SNODGRASS: I will, with God's help.
Therefore, Father/Mother/Higher Power, make Fr. Snodgrass a bishop in your Church. Pour out upon him the power of your princely Spirit, (which is not be confused with the Holy Spirit) whom you bestowed upon Mother Jesus, (given to us by Bishop Jefferts Schori) with whom she endowed the apostles, and by whom your Church is built up in every place, to the glory and unceasing praise of your Name as long as you conform to the changes we are making in your name to fit into an emerging post-Christian Church.
AMEN
