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EPISCOPAL CHURCH COLLAPSES AFTER COVID-19 PANDEMIC ENDS
A Satirical Essay
By David W. Virtue, DD
www.virtueonline.org
July 10, 2020
The Episcopal Church officially collapsed after it was discovered no one wanted to go back to Church following the end of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Presiding Bishop Michael Curry was seen walking down a road near his home in Nth. Carolina, waving his hands in the air and muttering to himself about the 'way of love,' but nobody was listening.
A phone call by the head of the local Diversity Society saw an EMT truck pull up and moments later two men were seen in white jackets gently leading the bishop away.
"It's a cryin' shame that no one wanted to come back and hear endless sermons on love, inclusivity, reconciliation, racism and engage in anti-racism training, and getting a diversity tune up," said the Church's chancellor in New York City.
"Michael was really on to a good thing when he discovered love for the first time under a cathedral cemetery stone; no other Episcopal presiding bishop in living memory had discovered and talked up love, like he had done. His less than memorable Royal sermon will go down in history as instantly forgettable, but his theatrics will make a Broadway show in time right up there with Hamilton."
A spokesman for the hospital where Curry was taken, said the presiding bishop would probably recover his true self, but he would need months of conversion therapy.
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