The couple divorced in 1992 after the husband admitted he was actively homosexual, according to the lawsuit. The former husband then invited his male companion to attend services at the church, distressing the Scotts' 15-year-old son, according to the complaint. A former church rector persuaded the choirmaster to use "proper discretion" in church. After Nieman arrived in 1994, Scott's former husband again brought his companion to services. During this time, Nieman took to the pulpit before the congregation and, using the names of the people involved, criticized those in his flock who wanted the choirmaster to be discreet. In settling the lawsuit, the church admitted no wrongdoing. Original story below

SPARTA WOMAN SUING CHURCH, RECTOR AFTER SERMON ON EX-HUSBAND'S AFFAIR

By Fred J. Aun
For The Star-Ledger
January 18, 1996

The rector of an Episcopal church in Sparta defamed and distressed a woman and her child by sermonizing about the woman's former husband, a gay man who was the church's musical director, according to a lawsuit.

In a Superior Court complaint filed in Newton, the woman - identified only as "C.D." - is suing the church and its rector, the Rev. John Nieman. The suit was filed by Sparta lawyer Richard Pompelio, who said Nieman publicly discussed his client's failed marriage, her ex-husband's homosexuality and the disgust felt by some parishioners toward the gay man for inviting his male lover to attend church services.

According to the lawsuit, the woman's former husband, identified only as "E.F.," was hired by St. Mary's in 1982 as choirmaster and director of music. It notes that the woman is also a musician and music teacher and that the couple had three children. The youngest child, a boy identified as "A.B." and named as a plaintiff, is now 15. The couple was divorced in 1992, two years after separating, says the complaint.

"Subsequent to the marital separation, "E.F." advised his wife and children that he had entered into homosexual relationships with other males and acknowledged that he was homosexual," says the lawsuit. The revelation deeply affected "A.B.," according to the court papers. The lawsuit says the child "experienced emotional distress and was extremely self-conscious about his father's homosexuality and the effect it would have upon him among peers in the community of Sparta Township."

The lawsuit says the former husband, from 1992 to 1995 "invited his male lover to attend services." It says the presence of the father's new partner added to his son's emotional distress. The situation was brought to the attention of a former church rector in 1992 "by a church member and close friend of the family," according to the complaint.

The friend suggested the gay man "should not risk the emotional well-being of his son by having his lover present while performing his duties as choirmaster," says the lawsuit. It adds the former rector advised the choirmaster to use "proper discretion" and show concern for his son. After the advice was given, the man's lover stopped showing up for Sunday services, says the complaint.

When Nieman subsequently became rector he was advised about the situation, according to Pompelio. The lawsuit says the rector met personally with "A.B." in December 1993 and was told, "in confidence" that the father had agreed in writing to avoid bringing his lover to church. The lawsuit said the father adhered to the agreement for about a year, but then showed up with his partner at Christmas Eve services in 1994. Pompelio's client spoke with the Right Rev.

Bishop John Spong, of the Diocese of Newark, seeking a meeting with the local church vestry, composed of the pastor and lay members elected by the congregation. Pompelio said the meeting was never scheduled. Instead, on Jan. 15, Nieman brought up the whole affair in a long sermon Pompelio believes was heard by about 225 people.

In the sermon, Nieman, who did not respond to a request for comment, said the issue had "plagued St. Mary's for at least six years," and should be faced openly. "We have been in denial now for about six years," said the priest, freely using the names of those involved. "And while we have been living in that state, accusations and innuendoes have continued to be hurled around, usually behind the scenes. ... Hatred has grown and hostility has festered."

Nieman flatly stated he would take no part in asking anybody to refrain from attending his church because of their sexual orientation. "Nor will he or she be expected to hide his or her sexual orientation by, for example, leaving a partner at home," said the rector.

"The dignity of gay and lesbian people will be respected here because they are human beings." Pompelio stressed the lawsuit is not about "gay rights," but about the rector's violation of his client's right to privacy.

"Put yourself in the position of someone who speaks to her minister and then has her private affairs discussed in public and she lives in a small community in Sussex County," he said. In his sermon, Nieman said the facts surrounding the issue were "public knowledge" and he reminded his flock, "We have had openly gay and lesbian couples in this parish before. They were welcomed, and their leadership was valued."

The church agreed to pay $42,500 to the woman.

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CHURCH PAYS EX-WIFE HUMILIATED BY GAY SERMON SPARTA PASTOR NAMED NAMES FROM THE PULPIT

by Fred J. Aun
Star-Ledger Staff
December 4, 1998

A Sussex County lawsuit that juxtaposed the clergy's right to free speech in sermons with the privacy of parishioners has been settled for $42,500.

The money will go to Karen Scott, a Sparta woman who sued St. Mary's Episcopal Church and its former pastor, the Rev. John Nieman, in January 1996. Scott said she and her children were humiliated and embarrassed when Nieman, in several sermons in 1995, reprimanded his congregation for expressing their disapproval of Scott's former husband's homosexual relationship.

While the church admitted no wrongdoing in agreeing to the settlement, a lawyer for Scott, Richard Pompelio, said he believes the case breaks new ground on the issue of a clergyman's fiduciary duty to a parishioner. "I think this is the first time in this state that this cause of action has ever been recognized," said the lawyer. "I think we did prevail in getting this kind of a settlement." Scott's former husband was hired by St. Mary's in 1982 as choirmaster and director of music.

The couple divorced in 1992, two years after the man admitted he was actively homosexual, according to the lawsuit. The former husband then invited his male lover to attend services at the church, something that added to the distress of Scott's 15-year-old son, who already was troubled by his father's revelation, according to the complaint.

This was brought to the attention of a former church rector, who convinced the choirmaster to use "proper discretion" while in church. However, after Nieman arrived in 1994, Scott's former husband again brought his companion to services, prompting Scott to set up a meeting with the Right Rev. Bishop John Spong of the Diocese of Newark, the lawsuit says. Before the meeting, Nieman took to the pulpit before a congregation of about 225. Using the names of the people involved and describing details of the Scott family situation, Nieman criticized those in his flock who were involved in any effort to get the choirmaster to be discreet.

Nieman said the ordeal had plagued St. Mary's for too long. He said he would not expect anyone to leave a partner at home, whether they were homosexual or heterosexual. "The dignity of gay and lesbian people will be respected here because they are human beings," Nieman said. While Nieman's position appeared righteous, Scott and her lawyers, Richard and Ann Pompelio, asserted that the reverend was more concerned with his standing in the church than with making a moral statement. Spong is a strong advocate for gay rights.

The Pompelios asserted the pastor, who would not discuss the case and has since moved to Michigan, should have been more discreet himself. They said his public words pained and embarrassed Scott's son, who was taunted at school. Livingston lawyer Gregory Winter, who represented the church and Nieman, was unavailable yesterday for comment. Richard Pompelio said the case showed that clergy can be held liable if their sermons or other actions harm their parishioners.

END