In a nationwide survey conducted in 2001 by the National Marriage Project, then at Rutgers and now at the University of Virginia, nearly half of 20-somethings agreed with the statement, "You would only marry someone if he or she agreed to live together with you first, so that you could find out whether you really get along." About two-thirds said they believed that moving in together before marriage was a good way to avoid divorce.

The study, "How the Messy Middle Finds a Voice: Evangelicals and Structured Ambivalence towards Gays and Lesbians," analyzed national data from the 2010 Baylor Religion Survey, conducted by Gallup.

Researchers presented their study at the annual American Sociological Association meeting in New York on Monday (Aug. 12).

It is not just selfishness, however. In the last 50 years there has been a full-scale ideological attack on marriage by activists and academics determined to undermine the institutions of society, of which the family is the most basic. It is where we first belong: the first school, the first church, the first community.

Flowing from the gift of marriage is another precious gift of God, the gift of children. "Be fruitful and multiply" (Gen 1:28) is as much a word of divine blessing as it is a command. Children are the most obvious, distinctive and natural gift of marriage, for the child is in every sense the "one flesh" of the mother and father. Marriage lived out according to God's purpose is therefore also, just as naturally, the optimal setting for the child.