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Episcopal Church finally Scrapes Bottom of the Barrel
A Satirical Essay
By David W Virtue DD
www.virtueonline.org
July 27, 2015
Episcopal scholars watching the descent of the Episcopal Church over the last thirty years finally believe the bar may have reached the bottom of the barrel. They also believe the bar cannot be lowered any further.
"We thought that with the election of Gene Robinson the bottom had been reached and the bar had hit an all time low, but we were disappointed to find out that there was still further to go," revealed the Rev. Winslow Barton, committee chairman "To Save the Church" from extinction.
"When lesbian Mary Glasspool was elected suffragan bishop of Los Angeles, we thought a Holy Spirit revival would break out, but in truth the bar descended even lower and we thought we heard a scraping sound. It was just the whooshing sound of air escaping below the bar or perhaps the Holy Spirit desperately searching for a way out."
Clearly the bar had further to go.
"But then Heather Cook came along and the scraping sound was heard loud and clear. We had finally reached the bottom, the bar ran along the ground and the sparks began to fly. Any hope for the church's future was now totally lost," conceded Barton.
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