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Episcopal Church Rocked by Photo Showing Jefferts Schori with Open Bible
A Satirical Essay
By David W. Virtue DD
www.virtueonline.org
November 4, 2014
The Episcopal Church was rocked this week when a photo appeared on the front page of "The New Yorker" showing Presiding Bishop Jefferts Schori reading what looked like a Bible while sipping coffee at a Starbucks cafe on 2nd Avenue near the church's national headquarters.
The church went into immediate damage control with the emergence of the leaked photograph showing the Presiding Bishop reading the Book of the Revelation.
The picture, which later appeared on Bishop Gene Robinson's FACEBOOK page, went viral showing a visibly absorbed Jefferts Schori reading from the last book in the Bible. A later photo shows her turning white after reading what was purportedly the message of St. John to the seven churches of Asia Minor.
For Jefferts Schori who has said that personal salvation is a heresy, upholds a woman's right to an abortion, and has embraced nearly all things pansexual, this photo might well be her undoing, a close friend of hers told VOL.
Jefferts Schori has openly mocked the need for personal conversion, believes all religions are of equal value, and that God will ultimately save everybody, while mocking even the idea of hell, except for Archbishop Bob Duncan, whom she personally blames for splitting The Episcopal Church. She must now face a barrage of questions as to why she was reading this incendiary book of the Bible which vividly describes the End Times.
A former scientist, the Presiding Bishop says she is not a theologian and wouldn't know Genesis from Job -- she was just holding it in her hand after reading Gene Robinson's latest book; "We're Here, We're Queer, Get over it".
Hours after the photo was leaked on FACEBOOK, Twitter, and a variety of liberal and orthodox Anglican blogs like Anglican Stink, Jefferts Schori's standing amongst liberals plummeted; a number of fence sitting rectors are now saying they would leave The Episcopal Church for the Metropolitan Community Church, America's first openly gay church. "We were horrified when we heard reports that Bishop Katharine was seen reading from this openly hostile apocalyptic book. We will need to rethink whether Integrity organization can keep her on as an honorary member", sniffed Susan Russell.
Episcopalians across the country demanded to know what she was doing reading this bizarre book of the Bible that has nothing to do with climate change and where rites for same sex marriage are not even addressed.
This is the kind of book that only cult followers from Waco, Texas, would read, opined Stacy Sauls, the Episcopal Church's CEO.
The damage could be irreparable and any shot she might have had at being re-nominated for Presiding Bishop next year in Utah has totally evaporated.
One bishop, who asked not to be named, commented, "In New York, the only thing worse than reading The Book of the Revelation is to pretend you are not reading it. This deep betrayal by The Presiding Bishop will not be forgotten, and her name will be erased from the building after it is sold to pay ongoing legal fees in the Church's culture war."
END
