What can be done? A powerful new film offers trenchant analysis and a path out: "The Heart of the Matter: Finding Light in the Darkness of Pornography and Addiction."

It was produced by Nathan Lee, 33, who was addicted to porn from ages 14-27. The first surprise of the film is that the porn addict today can be a man or a woman, an attractive man in his 20s, a newlywed man or even a Bible-believing pastor.

The movie is a series of interviews of 30 people, who offer compelling testimony in eye-opening categories: First Exposure, Getting Trapped, Escalation, Affecting Relationships, Lying and Hiding, Sinking Deeper, Trying to Get Out, Hitting Bottom, Speaking The Truth, Connecting, Recovery, and Embraced by His Love.

"We live in a pornographic world. It is the wallpaper of our lives. It is everywhere," says an expert.

Young people are told, "It's harmless and it's fun." Tony says, "My first exposure to pornography was six years old." A woman adds, "I was in junior high." A young man recalls kids at school buying it when he was 12. "Wow, this is great!" The fact it was forbidden made it more alluring.

Jessica, a beautiful young woman who wanted men to pursue her, saw pornography as "almost research." Amy started watching porn with a man she was dating. "It seemed like it enhanced our relationship. Looking back, it didn't."

"Your tolerance increases after you use it for a while. Then it turns into an obsession. Then you start to have negative consequences." Work or relationships suffer.

Pastor Bernie Anderson thought that if he got married, "then the problem will go away." But three weeks into his marriage, he went back to porn.

One expert asserts, "Guys will keep secrets thinking they are protecting their wives from pain, but what they're really doing is protecting themselves from the pain when they see how hurt their wife is."

Steven's addiction led him to strip joints and prostitutes, making him feel he was not worthy of his wife.

Wives often sense something is wrong, but don't know what it is. "He felt distant from me," she tells a therapist. If she discovers his addiction, she wonders, "Why aren't I enough for him?" One woman began her relationship as a happy person, but left "completely hollowed out. I was tired and ugly."

Many porn addicts realize its harmful effects, and swear to quit, but constantly relapse. Paul laments, "I went from the superstar to a complete loser lowlife pervert." He had to hit bottom before he developed the resolve to conquer the addiction.

Pastor Anderson confessed, "You have to let someone know. You have to lose the anonymity." He called a pastor friend and confessed. "As I made that confession, the real burden of the secret was lifted."

David said he decided, "I am not stuck on this track of darkness and deception. Lies and secrecy keep you in this prison." He found a "safe person" he could confess his sin to.

When husbands tell their wives, "most choose to stay and work it out," says Geoff Steurer, Director of a LifeSTAR Chapter. "This surprises a lot of men" who assume that if she knew, she would leave him. "It's worth taking that risk and giving her the chance to be real with you, and work together on overcoming this."

"You are about to get a new marriage if you stay with it and if you are both really honest and authentic and transparent about this," he adds.

Many also need to get to a counsellor who specializes in sexual addition therapy, and/or a twelve step program such as Sexaholics Anonymous, in which sex addicts tell their stories of recovery to encourage one another.

Finally, remember that Jesus sought out sinners. When the woman was caught in adultery, Jesus told her accusers, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." When they walked away, he told her, "Go now and leave your life of sin."

If you or someone you know is addicted to porn, download this powerful film for $9.99: http://theheartofthemattermovie.com/watch-now/...

Michael J. McManus is President of Marriage Savers and a syndicated columnist