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New Resolution Would Require Candidates for Presiding Bishop Show Proof of Theological IQ
A Satirical Essay
By David W. Virtue DD
www.virtueonlione.org
November 1, 2014
A controversial resolution to be presented at the next General Convention of The Episcopal Church in Salt Lake City, Utah, would require candidates running for the office of Presiding Bishop to show proof that they can articulate the basics of the Christian Faith and affirm the Creed without crossing their fingers behind their backs. It would also require a minimum I.Q. in order to perform the duties of the office.
If the resolution passes both the House of Bishops and House of Deputies and becomes canon law, every candidate with Presiding Bishop ambitions would be issued an I.D. card featuring how well their diocese has done over their lifetime, and how many church plants were started. They must also be prepared to take a theological I.Q. test.
Whitney Brown, one of the co-sponsors of the resolution, acknowledged that the idea of a minimum I.Q. for PB might be viewed as incendiary in some circles, but insisted that the requirements of the I.D. card were not onerous. "All they have to do is show mastery of basic Christianity, the 39 Articles of Religion and say the creed without looking down at the Prayer Book," she explained. "We don't want any more scary stuff about personal salvation being heresy and idolatry or a Presiding Bishop saying that Jesus is not the only way to salvation."
The resolution faces an uphill fight in the House of Bishops, where bishops like the Rt. Rev. Wendell N. Gibbs, Jr. Bishop of Michigan, and Washington Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde have vowed to defeat it because it is too exclusionary and does not allow for the possibility for a transgendered bishop to arise and lead the Church.
"Some will say that the resolution is well meaning," VOL was told, "But if this had been enacted fifteen years ago, it would have choked off such brilliant church building leaders as Ed Browning, Frank Griswold and Jefferts Schori."
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